Potato, Patata, Smashwords, Small Vag-Wha-a-a??

When I typed in the letters 'sma' into my browser, the first suggestion that popped up was 'Small Vagina.' 

I mean, seriously?

There are so many other possibilities, my mind is a-boggle.

It is generally acknowledged belief that google reads minds, but in this case, the wires must have gotten crossed with someone else's mind.

I know, I know. I could be wrong. But my 9 year old son would trade vaginas of all sizes for a Minecraft mod without blinking. And my daughter still calls that part her 'front butt.'

Then I typed 'sc' in and got 'Scarlet Johanssen scandal photo.' 

I'm starting to collect good data that google might actually be a dirty old man.

Type a few letters into your dirty browser and see what you get. 

Culture Shock 101 or Where do they keep the dang towels in this joint?

My mom just gave me the low down on her recent trip to Korea. I'm laughing so hard, it's hard to type.

It appears that, although they do have a shower in their home, the people she stayed with prefer to bathe at the public bathhouse. Every day. Like, 50 naked Korean woman and my could-have-been-a-nun mother.

As a special 'treat,' her hosts got her a massage which consisted of being rubbed down by a naked massage therapist while she lay on a table that had a loofah-like material on it to keep her from sliding off. Have I mentioned my mom is a tad portly?

This image alone makes me cry tears of joy.

She had to sleep on some sort of barely-there mattress over wooden boards. This is not even to mention the food, like the still-pulsing fresh god-knows-what-from-the-sea item that flew from her chopstick and started crawling up her shirt.

I emailed my sister-in-law about the visit, and she said, 'Yes. My parents spoiled your mother, I think.' Couldn't tell if she was being facetious.